Based on all the interesting comments I received on the blog post about Sexual harassment in the age of Twitter I have put together this mind map. The map shows all your thoughts about what the causes might be for sexual harassment in Jordan.
It seems to be going in two directions:
One way is leading to the patriarchal societal structure in Jordan where boys and girls are segregated in schools from a very young age. This means that boys and girls don’t become friends, and therefore don’t know how to behave towards each other, and that boys rarely meet female authority figures. The segregation continues in some ways in to adulthood with men only cafes, young boys not being allowed in to restaurants, clubs and the like plus gender separated gyms, salons and so on.
Another way is leading towards hardcore topics such as religion and culture and the fact that sex and even talking about sex is not allowed within this framework. Because the topic is taboo there is so much tension connected to it and it becomes even more interesting because “we want what we can’t have” (or because feeling sexual desire is a natural thing for all human beings if you ask me).
So this was your input – now what do we do about it?
I believe all of the points are connected and one thing leads to another. A continuous circle. Boys and girls are separated in school, they don’t become friends, they don’t know how to behave towards each other, young boys are excluded from public areas, harassment happens and that gives everyone even more reason to keep up the segregation of the genders!
So where to start? Where and how do we break the circle?
I was about to argue that this was wrong then I remembered that my viewpoint is the 2% West-Amman bias, so I decided to let it be.
I agree with most of it but in general the religion does not allow for insulting women this phenomena has been imported from God knows where.
Sexual Harassment is a pandemic not only in the Arab world but in the world in general, the laws might have been created to protect the women but the implementation is virtually non-existent.
The universities are mixed yet because of the segregation of the youngsters it sort of takes on a twisted dimension.
I agree with this your point of view and from my point of view is that the lack of religion education in terms of women’s respect and original islamic and christian manners is also a reason. segregation has recently been proved to help development of education for it has been lately discovered by many studies that girls understand certain subject in a different way than boys. Another thing is that many problems occur in the western community because of mixed schools and many girls lost their education opportunities of a decent education because of that reason. In addition to that in the past ten years some states in the US are offering a double budget for school which are willing to segregate boys and girls just to avoid the problems they are facing nowadays.
I personally think that sexual harrasment is a kind of psychological phenomenon and I agree that rules should be implemented very well and the government should be more strict for that.
As for sexual frustration, sports is a good solution for boys in order to prevent this issue. parents should also monitor what their kids watch on TV to minimize this problem.
i agree the segregation factor plays a big role. the almost by-polar attitude when dealing with women that are not blod blood related is also another as many young men i know entrenched in this culture subset hypocrite-ize the concept of women in society. its endemic and the result of segregation.
healthy relationships between both genders would make the gender shock easier for them to deal with when in adolescence but i dont see arab culture adapting that quickly. we need to remember that the dominant religion in the arab world spent near the last thousand years developing gender equality and yet still many arab societies choose to segregate and play the double standard card in direct contradiction to religious teachings.
but that being said… exposure to the dominant forms of the global socio cultural practices will eventually ebb away this issue.
Actually sex is not a taboo among boys circles, in the contrary it is very much encouraged.. there is a cultural obsessiveness with masculinity in our society and sex is where those boys assert it among their peers. Unlike girls who shy from expressing any kind of sexual desire even among their closest girl friends.
The reasons are that men are attracted to women and in fact are controlled by their hormones. They will express such attraction one way or another, and somehow Jordan decided to suppress those desires rather than make them more disciplined. Also lack of punishment for those who harass women make it possible for sexual harassment to continue
The reasons are that men are attracted to women and in fact are controlled by their hormones. They will express such attraction one way or another, and somehow Jordan decided to suppress those desires rather than make them more disciplined. Also lack of punishment for those who harass women make it possible for sexual harassment to continue
brilliant!
@Descantia: I would very much like to know your 2% West-Amman bias
What would be your explanation? (And remember the post is not my view entirely, but a collection of all the comments I received).
I know that religion doesn’t allow for insulting women, but the problem with religion in my eyes is, that it can be twisted into meaning almost whatever you want it too. You can use it for so many contradicting purposes and agendas – because as long as you only pick out fragments of the scripts, then you can pull it in whatever direction you prefere. And people tend to do that. Sadly.
@Murad: I agree that the segregated society is not doing anything in order to break the circle of harassment and misunderstandings between the genders – but is there really nothing there can be done about this issue? Actively? I cannot accept that the only solution is to passively wait around for maybe decades and generations and hope that time will slowly change the situation…
@ArabObserver: True – you are right that sex is not taboo in boys’ circles. I have been listening in on many of those conversations in groups of shabab. But even though they talk about it in their own circles, they would never (at least not the ones I know) talk about it in public or have the same open attitude on the topic in the presence of their families. So yes, they talk about it amongst their friends – and they might be having sex as well, but they lead double lives – where they are a completely different person in the eyes of their families who knows nothing of all these things.
@Hareega: You are the doctor Hareega, so you are definitely the expert here – but aren’t women attracted to men in the same way and also controlled by their hormones? Would be strange if that only worked for one gender and not the other…?
Can I ask how you would propose one could make the desires more disciplined so suppressing them wouldn’t be necessary? And what will it take to tighten the laws concerning punishment for sexual harassers in Jordan?
Naddoush, of course women do, but what I meant is that both genders should mix more. Our society is largely segregated, which might be necessary in some occasions, but boys graduate from high school almost never having a normal conversation with a female other than a family member or a teacher. Girls have the same problem as well, but it’s a little more dangerous for men. They tend to become more insane with time, violent, abusive, irrational….etc
Who are those nasty men? Children of some women.. Mothers must be educated to raise healthy normal boys and men in arab societies. Arab mothers seek security by having baby boys. Then they raise them to a male dominant society’s expectations; a sexually self absorbed selfish agressive male character. Then tops up with poverty infested dozen living in two rooms being intimidated by elders of the mess… Crowded class rooms buses… In efficient public facilities;
First of all irregular unfriendly unsafe dropdead or knockout sidewalks! oR sIDeHiLlS!
Religion’s misuse. Abuse. Manipulation…
The Parliament? Some of those children grown up and in dark suits or quality abayes only, who else?
Please educate the nation girls and boys. Men and women. Specially the preachers and teachers.