I have been feeling really weird these past few days. Or the past many days. Or weeks actually.
I am stuck in this weird limbo, where my previous life and rhythm has ended and the new one hasn’t yet begun. So in the meantime I find myself floating around in thin empty air, unable to concentrate on doing anything meaningful even though there is plenty to do.
Days pass and nothing gets done. I just sit around thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. Maybe it is a necessary part of the transition? I don’t know. Maybe the limbo and all the thinking are necessary in order to make myself ready for the next chapter in life? Or maybe it is just a silly excuse in order for me to feel better about being lazy and wasting precious time on doing nothing?
I should be
- Studying intensely
- Preparing practical stuff before departure
- Packing down my apartment
- Spending time with family and friends
And instead I am
- Watching crappy TV
- Surfing random crap on the internet
- Walking aimlessly around the house
- Sitting and thinking
Actually I AM spending time with family and friends – that doesn’t take much effort, but all the other things on the to-do list which requires hard work or effort – I don’t do them…
Hmmm – well, I have always worked best under pressure, so I am sure I will get things done eventually, once I start to feel the pressure of time and the inevitable deadline. It is just that when you have unlimited time, then you can also postpone everything – whereas when you have a deadline, you start getting efficient.
And the plane ticket is already bought and paid for – so there is no turning back now. The clock is ticking.
Tick tock, tick tock.